


Lams Oneshots

by Punable



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Also all of the chapter titles are song quotes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depressed Alex, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humour, I like consistency, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Requests wanted, The major character death only happens occasionally, Washingdad, just oneshots, my gay ship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:22:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10022444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punable/pseuds/Punable
Summary: Just a collection of Lams oneshots as I attempt to fill the void inside my merciless heart.Feel free to request anything (as long as it's not smut). Also, these are ONESHOTS. No second chapter for anything, otherwise I would be lying to the both of us.





	1. Take a Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John babysits Philip. Fluff and Monopoly ensues.

“Alex?”  
Alexander turned his head nearly dropping his coffee in surprise.  
“Oh. John! Hi! I thought you’d died, man!”  
“Nah, I just don’t get out much. What brings you out here?”  
Alexander smiled. “I could ask you the same question.”

The two were standing in the toy isle of a dollar store, Alexander by the toy trains, and John by the stuffed animals. He was holding a stuffed turtle.  
“Um, well, I…” John’s face lit up a bright shade of pink, blurring his freckles.  
Alexander giggled and pointed to the turtle. “It looks like you.”  
John playfully shoved his old friend’s arm, blush still evident on his face.  
“Um, I was buying this for… a friend.”  
“Of course.” Alexander cheekily grinned, dodging another shove from his friend.  
“Anyway, that’s not what I meant. What are you doing in South Carolina?”  
“Phillip could do with a change of scenery. Unfortunately, he’s not as big about New York as everyone else. We hadn’t had a holiday in years.”  
“But…South Carolina?”  
“He wanted to come here. Something about ‘good trains’. Which is why…”  
Alexander gestured to the miniature trains stacked up in front of him. John smiled.  
“You’re a good father. Speaking of which, how’s Eliza? Last I heard of her, you two had had your sixth kid!”

A sudden shadow cross Alexander’s face.  
“I’m afraid that I and Eliza…are no longer together.”  
Shock and guilt gathered in John’s face all at once.  
“Oh my god, Alex, I’m so sorry. What happened with the kids?”  
“I only managed to get custody of Phillip. The others are too young to be separated from their mother. I still have visiting rights though.”  
“Man Alex, that’s terrible.” John suddenly looked closer at Alex’s face. The man looked exhausted, eyes sunken leaving behind dark rings, face pale and lean, beard long and unkempt.  
“When was the last time you took a break, just for yourself?”  
Alexander gave a humourless laugh. “A break? I don’t get to have breaks, not with the responsibilities I have with Phillip.”

John thought for a minute before an idea came into his head.  
“Hey! What if I watched Phillip for an evening so you could go somewhere and relax? You’re no use to your son in this state. Come on Alex. Take a goddamn break.”  
Alex looked nervous. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”  
“You don’t have to! You don’t even have to pay me! I’m gonna watch your kid this Saturday evening and you’re going to go and relax.”  
“Wait, I…”  
“See you on Saturday!” John grinned and walked off, paying for his turtle before Alexander could have a chance to say anything. Alexander sighed and turned his attention to the trains again. At least it was a chance to see John- um, some friends again.

~~~

“Noooooo Daddy, don’t leave! I promise I’ll be quiet! Take me with you!”  
“Now Pip, I’ll bring you back a new notepad if you promise to behave while I’m gone.”  
Phillip scowled and looked away from his father. “Fine.”  
Alexander smiled and ruffled Phillip’s fluffy hair. “There’s my little poet. I’ll be back before you know it!”  
Phillip giggled at the rhyme, and Alexander looked up at a grinning John.  
“Ok, so you’ve got my number if anything goes wrong. I know he’ll be good, but if he’s not, just tell me. There’s food in the fridge, though you can order pizza if you want. Phillip likes mushroom. Don’t give him anything with olives in, he’s allergic, and…”  
“Alex, go! I’ve got this covered!”  
“But…”  
“Go!”  
Alexander nodded nervously and opened the front door, while John was scooching him out. After he was well-and-truly out, John closed the door behind him. He turned to the small puffball behind him.  
“So…Philip…”  
“Hi!” Phillip exclaimed. “You look like me!”  
John looked carefully at the nine year old in front of him. “Yeah, I guess I do. What do you wanna do?”  
Philip seemed to think really hard. “Do you like Monopoly?”

Two hours later and after clearing up the Monopoly pieces from the floor after John had got so frustrated at this kid who managed to get two hotels on Marvin Gardens he had flipped the board, the two were watching Harry Potter TOOTP. Philip was staring at the screen and John was checking Neko Asume. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Philip stood up, a triumphant look on his face.  
“My dad has drawings of you in his room.”  
John looked up, alarmed. “W-what?”  
“Come on.”  
John quickly paused the TV as Philip took his sweater sleeve and pulled him upstairs.  
“I knew it wasn’t pictures of me. But, um, you kind of look like me, so I accepted it. But it’s you!” The small child was rambling, a bright grin on his face.  
Before John knew what was happening, he was pushed through a door and was face to face with Alexander’s room.

There were many things remarkable about this room. The first would be that there were stacks of paper piled up in every corner, each one covered in Alexander’s messy cursive. The second was the assortment of random objects on every shelf that John could see. The third would be the odd yellow and orange colour pallet of the room, making the place glow like fire. It was so remarkably Alexander that John almost laughed.

Philip pulled out a large, A4 sketchbook that was worn and held no dust, meaning it had been used recently.  
“My dad’s not usually an artist, but um, I think they’re pretty good.”  
Philip opened it up and handed it to John. John flicked through, and saw pages and pages of…himself?

The drawings weren’t lifelike, they were cartoonish and cute, the earholes being love hearts and their eyes being large and rounded. But it was clear who the drawings were of.

“Wait, is…is that a turtle?”

There was a small turtle drawn on one of the pages. It had a curly ponytail.

John looked up at Philip, mimicking the same grin of excitement that he had.

“My dad reeeeeeeeally likes you. He’s always drawing in that thing. He didn’t even draw like that for Mom!”  
“Oh yeah?” John couldn’t stop the stupid grin on his face from showing or the slightly evil plan he had in his head growing.  
“Kiddo, I think it’s time for bed.”  
“Aw, but why? I showed you the pictures! Can’t I stay up a little longer? At least until Daddy comes back?”  
“Nope, sorry kid. I’m gonna welcome him home.”

~~~

Alexander opened the door quietly at roughly half past midnight. He had gone to watch a movie, the new Beauty and the Beast, and had gotten pizza and soda on the way back. He wasn’t completely relaxed, but it was nice to have a break from all his stuff at home.

“John?” He whispered, the house seeming too dark.  
“In here.” A quiet voice called from the living room.  
Alexander crept across the hallway, trying to be extra quiet so he didn’t wake up Philip.

He flicked on the lights in the living room.  
There, lying sideways in a mockingly sexy position, was John. With the turtle drawing taped to his face.  
“Why, hello there Alexander. I hope I didn’t…STURTLE you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine John waiting there for hours in that position, waiting for Alexander to come back.
> 
> I'm not American, so having to write "dollar" and "Mom" actually pained me. But I did it. I did for you guys. Also nothing against South Carolina, I just never hear people talking about it. It's probably a cool place.


	2. Are You Running Out of Time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The walls are thin. Angst ensues. 
> 
> Based on a prompt by quick-silvers on Tumblr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one took so long. I just lost interest halfway through and didn't know how to finish it. However, since it's the first day of pride month, I've decided to finish it. 
> 
> Also, I have decided on a formula that means I will switch between fluff and angst for my oneshots. This means that this one is angst and the next one will be fluff etc. I'm sorry if you were expecting fluff in this one (there is a little) but I just want there to be something for everyone. Enjoy!
> 
> (See the end of the chapter for a sneak peek at what the next chapter is!)

John Laurens had never met his neighbours.

It wasn’t because he was a bad person, not even because he didn’t like people, but because the three people that could be considered his “neighbours” were not one for socialising.

He knew who they were, sure. In the two apartments opposite, there was Mrs Lang, an old woman who John suspected was widowed, and Harvey Dean, a known artist but a real recluse. John had only glanced at him once in passing whilst doing his laundry. In the apartment next door was Alexander, last name unknown, who had only lived there a couple of months at the most. He was about a year younger than John, from what he could tell, and lived alone. Alexander seemed to be very anti-social, only being known by one other person in the building, Aaron Burr, John’s friend. Burr didn’t seem a huge fan however, so John left him alone.

John was often quite glad for his neighbours’ silence. The walls in the apartment were quite thin and other tenants had complained about noise, especially at the lower floors where a young musician had the tendency to practise electric guitar in the middle of the night. John needed eight hours of sleep, or he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

He never really heard much from Alexander’s side. Apparently, Alexander ordered take-out more often than he went to buy food, judging by all the accidental pizza guys John got every week. But apart from that, John never really heard anything from Alexander. According to Burr, he wrote a lot, so it didn’t seem like such a surprise. However, Burr had also said the guy was a loudmouth asshole, so that was something to think about. Still, John couldn’t help but feel curious towards this person who nobody except Mr Talk-Less knew.

Because Burr had a habit of only knowing the strangest people.

~~~

John slowly ate his pot noodle while he watched another re-run of Doctor Who on the TV in his living room. He had had a long day; no one really knew how stressful running a flower shop was. Well, at least John kept the fragrance of the flowers with him, on his clothes and hair. His friends would tease him, calling him ‘flower boy’ or, in Laf’s case, ‘Flora’.

John rubbed his sweater sleeve, the golden-brown material soft under his fingers. The feeling grounded him and he checked the time.

It was almost midnight.

John gaped at how fast the time flew; it felt like he’d only just gotten home. He quickly turned off the TV and stretched out, tired. Maybe he could just sleep here…?

But John knew his back would give out if he slept on the sofa again. It always happened, no matter what John did. The kindest thing to do to his body was to sleep in his damn bed.

He got up slowly, sliding off the sofa reluctantly. It took him a while, but soon he was off the floor and over to his room. He pulled off his jumper and trousers, folding them neatly then placing them in the corner of the room. He pulled a large t-shirt and boxers onto his body, a large yawn covering his face. He slipped under his covers, and was about to close his eyes, when…

Were those…sobs?

Suddenly John was very awake, sitting up and staring at the wall that sat between him and the next apartment. Someone was crying.

At first, John thought he was dreaming. After all, he had just gone to bed, and he had thought he would never hear anything from The Other Side as he had taken to calling it. The sobs were soft but masculine, and they didn’t sound like anyone John had met before. So he wasn’t dreaming.

So that was Alexander.

John started panicking. What should he do? Should he say anything? He had never had to deal with sobbing people before, growing up as a relatively isolated only child. He decided quickly to give it a go.

“Um…hi?”  
The sobbing stopped abruptly, with just a few ragged breaths admitting from the wall.   
“Are you…ok?”  
John mentally slapped himself. Of course the guy wasn’t ok; he was crying!  
Sniff. “Yeah, of course I am. Just…under the weather.”  
John almost fainted. The fabled Alexander was talking to him!  
“Is it raining? Because some raindrops are on your face.”  
Shit. That was such an asshole thing to say. John was about to apologise when a loud watery laugh came from The Other Side. It was breaking slightly, his throat obviously clogged, but it was hearty, and John was worried he would wake up the whole building.

He obviously didn’t laugh that much, if he laughed this loud.

“Ok, that was bad! Funny, but bad!” Alexander sounded as though he had cheered up considerably, though his voice was still thick with tears.  
“You’re Alexander, right?”  
“Yeah. You’re John Laurens; my friend Burr knows you.”  
“He’s my friend too! He’s said some…things about you.”  
“Ha…doesn’t sound like him.” Alexander started to sound sad again, and John decided to turn back to darker matters. Even if it wasn’t really his place to ask.   
“Why were you crying, Alexander?”  
Silence. John was suddenly afraid he had scared off the other man, seeing as though it was probably too personal of a question to ask a stranger you’re talking to through a wall.   
“Do you…have you heard the news about Senator Washington?”  
John paused. Where had that come from?  
“Um…yeah? The assassination, right? Some asshole didn’t like him, put a bullet in his skull.”

A sniff and a bitter laugh came from Alexander’s side.   
“D-did you know he has family? People w-waiting for him to come home?”  
John thought for a second. “Yeah. A wife and three kids, right?”  
“What were their names, John? His children. What were they called?”  
John was sweating a little. Alexander’s tone was suddenly stony and dark, the same bitterness creeping in.   
“Um…w-well, there was John – um, Jacky, P-Patsy and Alex-“  
Realisation and disbelief hit John like a falling icicle.   
“Wait. No, you can’t be…”  
“Heh. A-Alexander Washington, a-at your service.”

John tried to match up the tear-filled voice to the strong, courageous face he had seen on TV (that he may have had a little crush on). John was quite into politics, he had been sad about Washington’s death too, but Alexander…

He had no idea how Alexander must have been feeling.

“Oh. Oh Alexander, I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s fine. You couldn’t have known.”  
“I might have done, if only I had been sensible enough to actually talk to my neighbours. I could have…I could have been there for you!”  
Alexander laughed sadly, a sob cutting him off midway through.   
“You don’t even know me. And besides…you are here for me.”  
This shut John up.   
“What?”  
“No one else even bothered to check on me. I’m s-supposed to be the strong one in the family, so I couldn’t cry in front of them. I was all alone, John. I was…I wasn’t thinking very happy thoughts. But then you came tonight? I know it’s a weird way to meet your neighbour, but…I really appreciate it, John. Thank you.”

~~~

It was different after that.

John got to actually see Alexander in person. He had been quite embarrassed about his breakdown, but John assured him that he wasn’t judging. Alexander was still as attractive, even with more visible dark ring around his eyes and his hair loose and messy.

John didn’t get a chance to see Alexander in the mornings, since Alex’s job required him to be there at 5am, but John saw him after work, or when Alex came round to John’s after John had made him eat something other than pizza.

They became really good friends, and John introduced him to Herc and Laff, who immediately “adopted” him.

And John continued to be there for Alex, no matter what.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> URGH. I'm sorry for killing Washingdad, ok? I had to kill someone, and if I didn't do Washington, it might have had to be Phillip, and that would have kind of killed the vibe the other chapter was going for. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that; it was an absolute pain to write. I hope that didn't come across too much :D
> 
> Next time:  
> Lafayette is the master of romance. At least...sober.


	3. Let's Have Another Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette gives bad drunk advice. Fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, ok, I know it's been months, but life is hard and writing is almost harder. Have this, it was a prompt from my gf.
> 
> See the end of the chapter for a sneak peek at the next one.

Lafayette was no idiot.

If you were to meet him for the first time, your first thought may tell you otherwise. His English, while improving with each day, was not the best. He still had trouble with phrases and word order, something which he made loud complaints about to his friends, who always said it was 'part of his charm'.

As well as this, the Frenchman had a terrible sense of humour, his preferred weapon of choice being puns. These puns could range from being masterfully clever to mind blowing-ly stupid and there was no stopping him once he'd started. He mainly only did it when there was a large crowd, his smaller group of friends previously mentioning to kick him out if he told another fucking pun.

But despite the language issues and the terrible puns, Lafayette was a smart man. He was an amazing tactician, thinking up plans in a heartbeat, always quick to find and fix flaws. He had a heart as stubborn as a wine stain on white carpet, fiercely loyal and extremely ambitious.

But, if you were to ask Lafayette himself what made him smart, he would not say his ability to learn basic English in a week, nor his sword-fighting prowess. No, Lafayette prided himself on one thing. He was a brilliant wingman.

Sure, Lafayette had never been in love himself, his fanciful heart always too busy to stick around and gain feelings. But the love affairs of others made him excited. Lafayette loved the concept of love.

Which is why, about eight years before hand, Lafayette had been excited about his two friends flirting with each other. Alex had been the first to, although Alex had clearly no idea how to flirt. He had inwardly screamed when John lit up red from whatever Alex was saying. Lafayette had decided that those two fucking 'guimauve's needed to get their happy ending.

But like was said before... it had been eight years. Lafayette had tried everything, but nothing seemed to work to get the two together. Maybe they weren't interested in each other? But that was ridiculous. Lafayette had seen all the obvious signs. They were made for each other.

Lafayette would try again.

After he got a drink.

~~~

Alexander too, was no idiot.

But at that moment, he felt like one.

He sat at the bar, hand curled around a bottle of whiskey. He raised it to the air.  
"Raise a glass to freedom..." he muttered, a tired, wry smile on his face.

Love, he decided, was very much a prison. One he was very susceptible of getting trapped in. He had gotten crushes on many people in the past, mainly girls, and each one had a varying difficulty.

John Laurens, he concluded, was the worst one. At least with the females he'd encountered, he'd know what to say, how to act, how to charm them in a variety of ways. John left him speechless, helpless, unable to think of anything other than the friendly banter he was known for. He had tried flirting, he really had, but it was HARD. A lot harder than the movies made it seem. He had seen John blush, known it was his time to say something and... nothing.

He wanted to kick himself.

"Monsieur Hamilton! What a surprise!"

Alex jumped, turning around to see a grinning Lafayette with a beer in his hands. He sat down next to Alexander and took a sip before speaking.  
"How have you been, my friend? Has life been treating you well this evening?"  
"I would say so," Alex lied, smile just a little weaker than usual. "You?"  
Lafayette nodded firmly, smiling warmly at Alex but glancing at his bottle of whiskey.   
"That is a heavy drink. You are usually far more...careful with your alcohol intake."  
Alex shrugged. "Maybe it's time for a change then."  
Lafayette chuckled, finishing his beer and gesturing to the bartender. "Perhaps you are right, petite Alexander."

~~~

"An'... an' he's so cuuuuute Laff. He's got these eyes... have you seen his eyes? They're... they're so biiiiig."  
Lafayette laughed loudly as he put down his fourth bottle of whiskey. "I k-know my friend. Why are you so sad?"  
Alex sniffled as he put his head against the wood. "Because... because I'm scared, Laff. What if... what if I mess up? What if he d-doesn't like me?"  
Lafayette rolled his eyes humorously, head buzzing from the alcohol.   
"L-look, Alexander. You boys are the cutest thing I have seen in all my life. I say you put a r-ring on it~" Lafayette drunkenly sang.  
"You t-think? We're not even dating..."  
"What should that matter? You both are in love! You should grab it by its tiny ears!"  
Alex got up, fuelled by a drunk sense of determination.  
"Y-yeah! I'm gonna whoo him with my top notch brain!"  
Lafayette grinned and cheered  
"Go get him, tiny tiger!"  
Love expert or not, there is one thing that everyone should know about Lafayette.

He gives the worst advice drunk.

~~~

John didn't know what he was expecting today, but it certainly wasn't this.  
"Marry meeeee John. I loooooove you~"  
John looked down at Alexander, who was face down on the ground, weakly holding a ring up above his head.  
"Alex why."  
Alex made a feeble groaning sound in reply and John sighed, picking up Alexander by his armpits before slinging him under his arm like a small child.

He walked into his living room and dumped Alex onto the sofa, before pouring a glass of water, and knelt down by Alexander. He pushed the rim of the glass against Alex's mouth.  
"Come on Alex. Drink up."  
Alex moaned but took the glass and gulped it down. John sat back in the armchair next to the sofa, watching Alex face plant once more into the sofa cushion.  
"Why won't you marry me J-John? I'll...I'll get a better job! I'll be b-better!"  
John sighed again, placing his forefinger and thumb on the bridge of his nose.  
"Alex, why are you drunk? It's 6pm on a Wednesday."  
"Coz I'm a f-fuck up! You're so hawt John."  
John tiredly rubbed Alex's hair.   
"You're not a fuck up, you're just an idiot. Was there no one there with you?"  
"Laffy Doodle."  
"What?"  
"Laffy Doodle was there. He payed for the extra d-drinks."  
"Who's...wait, do you mean Lafayette's also drunk?"  
"I guess..."  
"Shit."

John quickly pulled out his text messages.

Turtley-Different:  
Herc Laff's drunk @ bar idk if he's still there

Horse-sexual:  
Oh shit man. I'll be down there to check on him ;D

John breathed out in relief. Lafayette was just as bad, possibly even worse than Alex when it came to alcohol. At least Alex was short, Laff had no excuse. The last time he had gotten drunk, he had picked seven fights, danced and sung on the table twice, and had a long, meaningful conversation on the politics of bees, all whilst speaking a mixture of English and French. It had been a laugh, but maybe not something John wanted to happen twice, especially with no friends to keep Lafayette from accidentally killing himself.

John turned back to Alex who had begun spooning John's Elmo plushie he kept on the arm of the sofa. He was muttering drunkenly into the soft material.

John smiled tiredly at the young man on his sofa. As much as he had to put up with, he was definitely willing to. He always had time for Alex, even if it was sad, drunk, hopeless romantic Alex.

Suddenly he heard another loud knock on his door. A man stood there with a truck full of flowers behind him holding a clipboard.

"Um... I got a hundred roses on quick delivery from an Alexander 'Damn-he-quick'?"  
"...Seriously Alex what the fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help that Jacksfilms reference.
> 
> Next time: Zombies are a thing and nothing is good. You bet your daughters and horses there's angst.


	4. Feels More Like a Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by a guest.  
> Zombie Apocalypse AU. There are zombies. No one is happy. Angst ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting, yada yada yada, you know the drill. I'm a busy bee with occasional depressive episodes so I mean...yeah.
> 
> That's not going to stop me though! Lams ho! (This is a short one or whatever but I just wanted to get something out so 2017 would just move on already)
> 
> WARNING: Suicide and death  
> (And also zombies, if you couldn't tell)

Alex remembered when their fingers had intertwined like stitching, sitting beside each other, Alex's head rested on John's arm. They could have stayed there forever, two men sharing warmth and love for all eternity. Alex remembered the feeling of John's skin against his face, soft and smooth, as comforting as a pillow and as warm as an oven.

It had been years since then, but the feeling of warm fingers next to his clung to his memory like an insistent toddler, tugging and pulling until he gave in. Every moment so soft, so gentle, despite the knowledge that it hadn't been like that in the slightest, memories of drunken tears and loud group outings pulling at the seams of that perfect memory of peace.

 _"Things have changed since then,"_ Alex thought, as he lowered the shotgun to a spot in-between his boyfriend's eyebrows, large eyes meeting his and loud sobs coming from close by.

Alex did not look up at the two people holding back his boyfriend's arms, despite how much he wanted to look away from the terrified eyes of the one he loved. He did not sob or lower the shotgun, a look of steel solidifying in his eyes, as he slightly tugged at the trigger.

He knew exactly how it had come to this.

A couple of years ago, it must have been, the news got out of this disease that was spreading in Japan. It was spread by contact with bodily fluids, such as blood or spit. The disease made the host aggressive and hungry, hungry enough that they would grab the nearest edible thing. That, most often, included other humans. The disease quickly spread, scientists unable to find a cure. The disease was slow acting, so that infected could move by plane away from what what supposed to be the danger zone and infect more people. And infect it did. Over three quarters of the world's population was now infected by the disease. Alex looked down at the gun.  
_"One more now."_  
His eyes momentarily flickered to the now greening bite on his boyfriend's neck, as time slowed down enough to show him all its secrets. The dulling of John's eyes as what little hope he had had fled them, the opening of Lafayette's mouth to scream the firing order, as tears streamed down his dirty face, and Alex's own finger pressing down on the trigger.

The loud gunshot was far away from Alex's ears.

~

"Alex? Babe?"  
Alex snapped back to attention. What had they...?  
"Alex, you didn't pay attention at all! I was just saying you need to fold along that edge there..."  
Alex looked down at his hands. Right! They were making origami turtles, John's favourite...  
John.  
He heard the gunshot now.  
He could hear it in his soul, ringing out, shattering him into little pieces.  
"Are you ok, babe? You need a hug?"  
Alex wrapped his arms around John. He could smell him, roses and honey and radiators.  
He didn't hear Lafayette scream out his name.  
He didn't feel the gun in his hands moving up to his head.  
All he knew is he never wanted to leave John again. Never ever again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was short but man, I'm no good at writing angst. I love it, but I'm a bit shit.
> 
> Next time: John is allergic to bananas. That's unfortunate. Hilarity ensues.


	5. Down for the Count

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is allergic to bananas. Somehow this causes problems. Tooth-rotting fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this one actually has an origin. So I was playing John Laurens on Shamchat, and I chatted with this guy who was playing "Alexander Hamilton but he's obsessed with bananas". We talked for a while and it was all good, and then we split. Problem was, we kept matching, again and again. So, to make the story more interesting, I made my John Laurens allergic to bananas and was from then on called "John Laurens but he's allergic to bananas". I forever hope I will meet them again. Perhaps, in another timeline.  
> WARNINGS: vomit, I guess, and also Herc being a dad, bc I said so.

John was very allergic to bananas. He just was. It wasn't life-ruining, like he expected an allergy to dairy might be (god knows he couldn't live without his milky brew in the morning). He didn't even like bananas that much, being a little too soft for his taste - he preferred crunchy fruit like apples and pears.

However, it was quite hard to explain this when he came face to face with Alexander, his crush of 8 months, holding a plastic drinks bottle containing a suspiciously smoothie-like substance.

"After months of planning, I finally got all the necessary ingredients for my Super Smoothie Special! The guy at the supermarket gave me a weird look for buying twenty separate apples, but it was worth it! Get ready for a taste sensation like no other! I've got tons left at home, but I wanted to give some to everyone I know. This may be my single greatest achievement so far. Nay, anyone's greatest achievement so far!" Alex dramatically rambled, a large, proud grin on his face. John, to his credit, was doing a great job at not blushing to death on the spot.

"Here! This one's for you! Although I'd appreciate if you'd return the bottle, they're quite expensive and I only have the one."

Alexander shoved the smoothie into John's arms who fumbled with it for a second. He looked at the murky liquid inside.

"Hey, um, Alex, my dude, does this have bananas in?"

Alex tipped his head to one side. "Exactly 23. It's what makes it a smoothie, after all. Herc says adding extra makes it 'softer' - like, smoother to drink." He paused, and in a softer voice said "Why? Do you not like them or something? I could alway remake it using almond milk. That works...sometimes."

His voice grew slowly softer as he trailed off, a forlorn expression on his face. John knew he was poor. He had probably spent all his extra money making this smoothie, something he had been so excited for John to try. ...he knew what he had to do.

~

REGRET. ABORT, ABORT. John laid curled up next to the toilet in his bathroom, his face slightly green and filled with self-loathing. He wanted to whack his head against the wall, if that wouldn't have made him feel any more ill and nauseous. After the first heave, he had called Lafayette for some moral support. He had just laughed loudly.

"You are a lovesick fool, mon ami."

His several frantic texts to Herc told him the same thing, although the boy had offered to come round of John needed him. John had declined, but in this moment, he really wished he hadn't. He needed someone to tell him it was going to be ok.

He suddenly heard a loud knock at the door. His head shot up which made him immediately regret being born. He really didn't want to answer that. "John! It's Alex!" Of course it was. John lifted himself from the floor, ignoring the lurch from his stomach as he did so, and reluctantly shuffled down the stairs to open the door. He was greeted with the lively face of Alexander. John suddenly flinched back as his face was taken in two hands.

"You're sick." He had never seen Alex's eyes so stoney and serious. Concern leaked out of him in floods, but there was also a trace of...fear?

He was quickly led to his living room, where he was pushed onto his sofa. Alex was gone for less than a second, then John was wrapped in one of his blankets and a plastic bucket was placed beside him. "How did you get sick?" John paused, and forced himself to look into Alex's eyes... Who he then realised was sat next to him. Alex, not the eyes. John though quickly of possible lies he could tell before he looked properly at Alex and they all flew out the window. There was no way Alex was going to let him lie about this. "I'm...allergic to bananas."

Pause. Then... "Snrk-hahahaha!" John went bright pink as the previously serious Alex burst into a fit of frankly adorable laughter. Alex wiped tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand. "S-sorry, I just...you drank the whole thing. And you were allergic?" John looked away, embarrassed. Alex chuckled again, and looked away too, his smile becoming soft.

"You know...when I was younger, and we had paid all the bills, my mother used to make me soup. Would you like some?"

John grinned as widely as he could considering how he felt. "As long as it doesn't have bananas in it."

Alex laughed but then made a face. "Why would you put bananas in a soup in the first place?"

"I'm sure you'd find a way."

A guilty smile flashed across Alex's face as he stood up. "Next time, just...tell me if something's wrong."

~

John stared at the painkillers in his hands. "Are you sure these will help?" "They should help settle your stomach. They're quite strong though, so you might have to take a nap afterwards." Alex had left the house for five minutes while he ran down to the pharmacist and got some medicine for John. John had offered to pay, but Alex had thrown the wallet back, and it had lightly thwacked John in the face before landing on the sofa. A solid no. John poured out out two pills and swallowed them dry. Alex handed him a cracker that John looked at suspiciously and then nibbled at it.

After a minute or so, John started to feel drowsy. He guessed it was the painkillers finally kicking in, and he was happy to finally have a moment of piece. The world around him faded in and out of focus as exhaustion took him in. Where was he? Did it matter? All he could focus on was the blurry figure smiling down at him. He knew that figure. He liked that figure. In fact... "Love you." And then the world faded to black, and in the darkness, very faintly, he could have sworn he could hear the echoes of "I love you too."

~

John made another long groaning sound into his hands as Hercules rubbed his back affectionately. "Come on, man. At least you've finally told him!"

"NOT HOW I WANTED, HERC."

"How did you want it to happen then?"

"NEVER."

Hercules sighed, but not without humour. "Besides, didn't you hear him say he loved you too?"

John shifted a little to show his eyes. "I don't know what I heard. When I woke up, he didn't address it at all. It's like it didn't happen." He paused. "OH GOD HERC WHAT IF IT DIDN'T HAPPEN?!"

Hercules resumed rubbing his friend's back, a look of mocking long suffering directed at passers by.

"I"m gonna be alone foreverrrrrrr..."

"Come on man, you know that's not true. I just don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. You KNOW that Alex would have found out eventually. If not from you, then probably from Laff. I swear, that boy was going to break any day."

John made a conflicted noise into his hands, and Hercules laughed. "Just ask him about it, man. He's your friend, what's the worst that could happen?"

"He could hate me, or find me weird, or make fun of me, or-" "Stop stop stop. You KNOW Alex. Would you even like him so much if you thought he would think those things about you?" John paused and said nothing. Suddenly, without warning, Hercules picked John up in a bridle carry, seemingly with no effort.

"Hercules why."

"We're going to see Alex! Together!" Hercules kicked open the door (somehow) and charged into the apartment.

"YO! ALEX! JOHN'S COME TO EXPRESS HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU!"

John looked on in horror from Hercules' arms as a very tired looking Alex emerged from his bedroom. It then struck John how late it must be. Alex rubbed some sleep out of his eye.

"Hercules why."

Hercules dropped John on the floor who fell with a bird-like squark. "Now fall in love, ya crazy kids."

Hercules left the flat, the door worse for wear but not broken. John and Alex just stared at each other, the ticking of the clock being the only thing that dared move, before a look of realisation hit Alex's face.

"Oh! Wait here!" Alex sprung into action and practically leaped into his small kitchen, leaving John to compose himself in the hallway. Soon, Alex returned, and a familiar liquid was shoved into his hands. John looked at it warily. "Alex..."

Alex held up his hands in a peace offering. "No no, I remade it! With almond milk, remember?" John blinked.

"W...isn't that really expensive?"

Alex laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah...I guess. But um...since I made it to give to you in the first place, it seemed right."

Wait what. "You...made it for me?"

"Yeah! I mean, you eat all of Laff's apples and pears every time you go round there. I guess I just sorta assumed that you'd like smoothies. I don't know, I just...it's stupid, I know."

John didn't know what to say for a moment, having lost all words in the sheer sincerity of Alex's speech. Eventually, he put the cup to his lips and took a big gulp. Alex put his fingers on John's hand.

"Oh no, you don't have to-"

"No, I want to. It's a shame to see such an amazing smoothie go to waste, after all."

Alex pulled back, startled, before smiling warmly and tiredly. "I suppose, if I didn't mean it before, I really do mean it now."

"Hmm?"

"I love you, John Laurens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what that was, just go with it.  
> NEXT TIME, ON BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Sherlock!AU. Alex falls for John. And then falls for him again. Angst ensues.


	6. Between The Sinners and The Saints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock AU. Alex keeps falling. Each time, a little more of him falls away too. Angst ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a short one, partly because I didn't have many ideas, and partly because like??? Crossovers are hard???  
> At least it's earlier than usual. I'm trying to get more oneshots written and they just get shorter as a result? I'm better at writing fluff. See bottom for a sneak peak at the next one. I'm actually quite excited for that one.

From the moment Alexander had met John Laurens, he had known he was exactly like the others. So stupid. So unobservant. So-  
"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!" John said, eyes shining like the sun.  
"The professors at Kings certainly didn't think so. They called me a 'know it all little shit.' And that was just the headmaster."  
John shook his head and laughed.  
"That's another thing that's brilliant. Your ability to piss off literally everyone."  
A small smile graced Alex's lips. "It is a talent."  
John chuckled softly. "Ok then. How did you know I wasn't going to invest in British trading?"  
Alex stood. "You have pool chalk in between your fingers. You only play pool when you go out with Samuel Seabury. Last you spoke of him, you mentioned he was trying to convince you to invest in British trading. Since you left your wallet here and haven't asked me if I've seen it, like you usually do when you have money to spend on your mind, I'm assuming you're choosing 'no'. Although, it would be a poor decision if you had chosen to, so, on the off chance you are considering investing, I would advise you to save your money."  
"Brilliant!"

Yes, as he was saying, he was absolutely-  
"... a great man. And if we're lucky, some day, he might even be a good one."  
Alex had stopped when he heard Hamlet (or was it Harrison?) speak.  
"It's Hercules, actually."  
Alex swivelled on his feet. The stocky, tall young man in front of him, chuckled wryly. "I could see you thinking."  
Alex gave a sharp nod, before turning around again and beguiling to walk down the stairs.  
"He's completely smitten for you, you know."  
Alex stopped but did not turn around.  
"You shouldn't let him go so easily. You never know when you'll meet another one like this."  
"I don't know what you're talking about."

He had no clue what he was talking about. People would ask Alexander if he even had the ability to love another, to which he would say-  
"Oh, hell yes."  
John grabbed his cane and followed Alex out of the building, loyally by his side. Mr Washington watched after them, the tea brewing on the stove, and shook his head in amusement.  
"Oh Alexander, I do hope you don't ruin that boy."  
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he reached in to pick it up. It was a text:  
'I hope not too - A'.

His memories did not control him. They did not-  
"You were never mine to begin with." Angelica smiled.  
Alex looked into those brilliant eyes, that enchanting smile, that perfect face...

and agreed with her.

Because Alexander wasn't as weak as the others, he wasn't-  
"-disappointed in me."  
"Wow, well done. Great observation."  
There was something in his eyes that made bile rise up at the back of Alex's throat. Something cold and angry in those bright eyes that had once been so naively astounded at his observations. Still, he steeled himself.  
"Don't make people into heroes, John. Heroes don't exist, and if they did, I wouldn't be one of them."

But he was helpless. So helpless to the memories as the myth of a life flashing before your eyes came to mind. He looked over the ledge.  
"Isn't that what people do? Leave a note?"  
He wondered if Aaron would be able to pull it off. For a moment, a brief thought came to his head: "Would it be so bad if I died? Who would miss me?"  
Then he looked down at the fearful, tear filled eyes of John Laurens, and no longer allowed himself to feel such a way.  
"It's all a trick. A magic trick." He would have begged on his knees for John to realise the meaning of his words in that moment. As it was, he could see his John shake his head rapidly, curls falling from his loose ponytail. His John? When had he become His John?  
He threw the phone to the side, John's pleas ringing out through the speaker, and took one last glance at George King's lifeless body. The man that ruined their lives. But weren't their lives ruined from the start.

He put out his arms.

~~~

John's child is very cute. Of course, he would be, but he got all the best features from his John. Long, bushy hair, freckles spattered across his face, like little constellations against the night sky. John and Lafayette decided to name him Phillip. Alex would never admit, but he adored the name.

But every time he looked at this child, he couldn't help but see the barrier between him and John. How he would never love him again, if he had ever loved him to begin with.

"He's got enough room in his heart for both of us, you know."  
Alex and Lafayette sat, looking out the window in Alex's apartment, coffee mugs in hand. Alex barely spared him a glance.  
"The real question is, do you have space in your heart to accept the two of us, mon ami?"  
Alex's brow furrowed.  
"...yeah. Yes, I think so."

He knew it was his fault when Lafayette died.  
Everything was his fault.  
He had fallen.  
Fallen so deep that no one could reach him.  
He fell for John Laurens, once at St Barts, once in his eyes, and once in his own mind.  
And his John would never come running for him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I tell you? The cast list is: Sherlock - Alex  
> John - John  
> Mrs Hudson - Washington  
> Mycroft - Burr  
> Greg - Hercules  
> Molly - Eliza  
> Mary - Lafayette  
> Irene - Angelica  
> Moriarty - King George  
> Donovan - Jefferson  
> Anderson - Madison  
> Rosie - Phillip
> 
> Also the deduction made by Ham at the top was based off an actual deduction by Sherlock in the original books.
> 
> NEXT TIME, ON YU-GI-OH!: Alex is determined to roast everyone, including that cute boy in his debate class. Savagery ensues.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to request in the comments below!


End file.
